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Me, my neurotic self, and I

May 23, 2012

What is neurotic?  Well, here, it is stated: Disorders in which the symptoms are distressing to the individual and recognized by him or her as being unacceptable. Social relationships may be greatly affected but usually remain within acceptable limits. The disturbance is relatively enduring or recurrent without treatment.

So, what’s the deal?  What am I being all neurotic about?  I’d have to say that communication styles are killing me right now.  When meeting someone new for the first time, we all feel a certain sense of infatuation… normally, this is a cool and healthy reaction to a new person.  I have seen a trend in myself that is a bit disturbing.  If there isn’t communication of some type every other day, then I start to get antsy and wonder if this other person likes me, etc.  I think this is counterproductive, because I also absolutely hate it when people call me, text me 5 times a day.  That gets on towards a different type of communication… the kind that happens with you being tied up in their basement…

So, where is the happy medium in this?  I wish I knew!  Perhaps it is just because I’m bored in the interrum between dates?  I am getting out and doing more things now that it is spring.  Photography is becoming a new and interesting thing to do.  Golf is going well (and I’m shooting more 80s than not)… It is the blank spaces in between these activities and dates that is driving me buggy.

I know I DO NOT want to be the kind of person that is all neurotic as that is just NOT attractive (at least I don’t find it that way).  So, to do that, I play it very cool when meeting new people.  I tend not to email back immediately, but to wait sometime between 12 and 48 hours.  I also tend to send emails rather than texts (which I hate) or phone calls (as you have nothing more important to do except talk to me on the phone).  I also know about myself that if a few days go by without any communication, I get weirded out and my heart leaps at the sound of a new email.  Another thing is that time seems to be at a premium because my weekends are filled with my kids (every other weekend) and there is a situation where I’m ‘dating’ someone from out of town.  In this case, our schedules are completely messed up and I don’t think I’ll see her for 3 weeks or so.  This also drives me a little batty.  In some ways, I like the fact that she is out of town in that she can’t just ‘pop over’ whenever, but on the other hand, I like to actually SEE people I’m dating and this has been hard.  We have been on 2 dates in 7 weeks thus far because of issues where my ex needs to swap weekends, or mother’s day or that kind of thing.

Perhaps all this just boils down to the fact that I really miss having a decent relationship, someone to share stuff with and whatnot.  I am being picky about who I date in that I have a lot of things I’m looking for and I don’t want to settle.  Yes, yes, yes… I know… give it time.  That is the key and such, it is just really hard to wait and not to settle.  Ah, well… I guess I’ll do what we all do, and just muddle through the best I can.


From → Dating

One Comment
  1. I totally feel ya, Keith! Neuroses seem to be a part of dating…AND relationships!

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